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I recently bought this product called "Miracle Crystal Soil, Nutrient and Moisture Balls for Plants" for two reasons. One is that I'm trying to grow some plants and thought it sounded interesting to use. The second reason is that an online product review said the instructions were hilarious. Boy, was the person who reported that correct!

Also, whoever had the idea of using microscopic black type on a dark blue package made a really bad move. Eyestrain, anyone?

Just to whet your appetites, here is the first line from the directions:
1. Affiliation clean water 1000ml to the Crystal mud soak 6-12 hours to filter the superfluous water.



Here's the rest. Sentence 2 is my favorite.

2. Flora that chooses fitly living the cool and damp environment, to washing their mud.
3. Crystal Mud that already absorbs water to be put into the vase with the flora.
4. The Crystal Mud appears the dry grain you may add water to afresh them.
5. Periodically increases the plant nourishment level.
6. Used for fresh cut flowers must be add more water.
7. Used 180-360 days for the indoors.

Warning
1. Kept away from sunshine stored at normal temperature
2. Kept away from children and pets.
3. No suit to the plant that waste large quantity water.
4. Handle it carefully, avoid the wastes jam the sewer.

Even if I never use this product, it was 90 cents well spent for the amusement factor alone.

Date: 2010-04-19 01:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] martoufmarty.livejournal.com
Cheap stuff is hilarious sometimes.

I bought these real cheap hair sticks online and the instructions for putting up hair were hilarious. They were just like the regular instructions for the other hair sticks I bought, but it was full of bad spacing, and the letter T was replaced with the letter F. Seeing how the instructions were all about hair tucking, it was a lot of fun.

One of them broke a while ago they were so cheap, but the package along was worth it.

Date: 2010-04-19 05:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghost2.livejournal.com
Those instructions sound awesome. :D

Date: 2010-04-19 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cersia5.livejournal.com
OMG! Imagine the badfic that author could write!

Date: 2010-04-19 05:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghost2.livejournal.com
The badfic would be epic.

Date: 2010-04-19 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimpmytardis.livejournal.com
I laughed out loud at the second line! Thanks for sharing that! :D

Date: 2010-04-19 05:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghost2.livejournal.com
The second I read that line, I knew it was too good not to share. ;)

Date: 2010-04-19 05:32 am (UTC)
ext_3965: (10 M WTF?)
From: [identity profile] persiflage-1.livejournal.com
Sounds like it's been badly translated from Japanese or Chinese or Korean!

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