Rose Tyler is really a 400-year-old Time Lady named Amazonalia!

[ghost2]

More badfic from ff.net. I actually felt sorry for Rose after reading this story.

My name is NOT Rose Tyler

The Time War is raging. Amazonalia--bwahaha! I'm sorry, but that name just cracks me up. Anyway, Amazonalia's mother sends her away so she'll be safe. Gallifrey has already been destroyed, and the planet where they're now living is also in danger. Amazonalia, who looks about 15 in human years, ends up on Earth, where she encounters Jackie and makes up a story about having amnesia, and no family that she remembers. About five minutes after meeting her, Jackie volunteers to adopt Mary Sue--er, I mean, Amazonalia. And so things go on for a few years.

Then Amazonalia meets the Doctor. She doesn't tell HIM she's from Gallifrey, though. Oh, no. She pretends to be human! Why? Well, during her telepathic communication with the TARDIS, we find out:


I am Amazonalia, 400 year old Time Lady from Gallifrey. I escaped during the Time War and I’ve been living with Jackie Tyler pretending to be a human, happy?

Not really you lied to my Doctor

I’m sorry and I don’t know why I did. But I like the fact that he thinks I’m a human.

You like the fact that he feels alone in the universe? This is almost cruel; he thinks he’s the last of the Time Lords. But he’s not, there’s you. And you’re hiding that from him!

He thinks I am this amazing human! If he knew I was a Time Lord then he wouldn’t be so impressed. It would be mundane, seeing sights that would eventually stop impressing us. He’s taken me to so many places I haven’t been yet.

Ego much, Amazonalia? The author makes Rose/Amazonalia out to be a right bitch, exhibiting incredible cruelty towards the Doctor by concealing her true identity. I guess it's true; no one hates Rose more than her own fans do!

And the Doctor must be a new kind of moron, not to figure out she ISN'T HUMAN. Plus, certain events in Father's Day, among other episodes, no longer make any kind of sense.

There's a sequel, creatively titled Amazonalia, but it's post-DD reunionfic and and I only made it through two chapters before I just couldn't go on.

Comments

[cersia5.livejournal.com]

LOL made my day that did...NOT. Thanks for the laugh!

[ghost2.livejournal.com]

After reading that story, I feel SO much better about my own writing. Badfic does do that, at least, for me!

[martoufmarty.livejournal.com]

I got to:

Now she was about 5”5 and had shoulder length blond hair and was a bit more curvy than skinny. She had pretty grey eyes though; she’d never been grey before so she was quite happy with that.

And closed it.

LULZ. Badfic.

[ghost2.livejournal.com]

I think you chose a good place to stop. It was all downhill from that point.

[happydalek.livejournal.com]

Surprisingly, I see some reviewers have actually left comments addressing these problems. Nice to know I don't yet have to abandon all hope for the future of mankind. *facepalm* "Amazonalia"? Yeesh.

[ghost2.livejournal.com]

At least a few reviewers made the effort. Unfortunately, I think the author ignored all of their advice. I didn't leave a review because I couldn't think of a single positive thing to say about the story, except that I was grateful it wasn't longer.

[dree-drey.livejournal.com]

It's bad when the reviews are more interesting than the story: "brillant just brillant do you take brillant pills or something cause if you are they're working real good"

[ghost2.livejournal.com]

LOL! I didn't notice that comment when I checked out the reviews. Thanks for pointing it out.

[dree-drey.livejournal.com]

I took my brillant pill this morning.